Christmas Eve - heavy peach moon

I saw a peach moon, waxing crescent, tonight, hanging heavy over the mountains in the West.  It was beautiful and large.  So large it stopped me, in its tracks.  Larger than I have seen it in a long time.  And it was beautiful to behold.

I was with my friend George.  And as he is a dog, a greyhound, a trusted companion, I walked towards the moon.  But as I went around the buildings the moon ducked behind the mountains.

I thought the moon was playing hide and peek-a-boo, but I realized it was hide and head to sleep.  It was sinking into the horizon.  I was left behind longing to see it one more time, as an orange glow disappeared in the dark.

I saw a moonset on Christmas Eve, and was thankful for the gift.  Which brought forth, as always on Christmas Eve, the thought of the wise men traveling to see the babe in a manger.  I, incidentally was looking west, but needed to head east back to home.

In the story of the Christ child’s birth, I believe I resonate best these days with the wise men.  I don’t have the bravery to be a Mary or a Joseph; to stand up and be bold in one's time. I don’t have the wherewith all to take on the responsibility of a herd of sheep or group of any people, and know that I could protect them on a long journey. 

But the stars and night time.  I don’t know for sure if the wisemen followed a star in the East.  If this is truth, they had to travel at night.  Well, I seem to be a night traveler haunting their steps.  The sun sets and I awake.  I love the night time, the quiet, the anonymity, the peace, the mystery…the stars and the moon.

Or maybe it’s a youthful memory of safety.  Tucked in bed at night. Safe under the prayers said with mum and a kiss on the forehead.  “Pretend your asleep” my sister and I whispered to each other, as we huddled under the blankets, eyes closed and big smiles on our faces, quivering and trying not to smile before mum came in.  “Pretend your asleep”.  I will have to ask my mum what she thought as she came in to tuck us in…but this is a digression.

The real story is in the searching.

Searching, using stars or messengers…  searching for a place.   Searching for a place in life, a place in the stars, a place in the manger, a place we can call home.  And no truer words were said than home is where the heart is.  Where is your heart?  Where is your home?

And if you find yourself searching at Christmas, and you have heard the story told for generations, with whom do you reconcile? Mary, Joseph, the shepherds the wise men? Do you find comfort, a 'place' to call home in the telling of their journeys? 

I am called to an intimate place, a quiet place past birth - where it is mother, a child and comfort of wisemen, angels and animals...

I have often thought about the drummer boy*...a hymn that filled me with joy as a child on Christmas without even a drum...

'...I have no gifts to bring pa rum pum pum pum...
...I played my drum for Him...
...I played my best for Him...
...Then He smiled at me...
Pa rum pum pum-pum
Me and my drum'

What gifts do you bring?  I always  wished to have a drum...something - anything - but I find that I am lacking, always lacking, but showing up, hoping I will find my gift to contribute.  So that is my simple message.  If you know your gift, share it.  If you don't know your gift - keep showing up until you find it or someone recognizes it in you.  Follow the wisemen and show up.

ps iloveu

*Little Drummer Boy - lyrics

Come they told mePa rum pum pum-pumA newborn King to seePa rum pum pum-pumOur finest gifts we bringPa rum pum pum-pumTo lay before the kingPa rum pum pum-pumRum pum pum-pumRum pum pum-pumSo to honor HimPa rum pum pum-pumWhen we come

Little babyPa rum pum pum-pumI am a poor boy tooPa rum pum pum-pumI have no gift to bringPa rum pum pum-pumThat's fit to give our KingPa rum pum pum-pumRum pum pum-pumRum pum pum-pumShall I play for youPa rum pum pum-pumOn my drum


Mary noddedPa rum pum pum-pumThe ox and lamb kept timePa rum pum pum-pumI played my drum for HimPa rum pum pum-pumI played my best for HimPa rum pum pum-pumRum pum pum-pumRum pum pum-pumThen He smiled at mePa rum pum pum-pumMe and my drum