Today slid into Autumn.
I awoke to the sound of my buoy bell, reminding me of the east coast, as a blustery wind danced with the clapper. The rain followed on its heels and I am now cocooning in a damp overcast day.
These are the days I love the best. Cool enough to demand clothing, but warm enough to not need a coat or sweatshirt. It is a great day to reflect on blessings. The roof over my head, the clothing I wear, the food in my cabinets and fridge. The two companions I live with who keep me entertained. In spite of seeming setbacks, I try to be grateful for the moments of the day.
I am currently unemployed, the sale of my loft just fell through; I am at times desperate to understand or know where in this world I am to call home. I am hovering on the brink of anxiousness, but today, the day that the season slid into Autumn, I am going to be okay, because that is what I am choosing.
I have been told, the beginning of anxiousness is the end of faith. The beginning of faith is the end of anxiousness.
So when I start to get anxious - I realize I am not living in faith. It happens more than I would hope, but I can pull myself back when I think to.
Today. Today my faith is sliding all around me. Today I am experiencing a full storm of emotions, from gratitude to anger; hope to despair. And like the wind that is blustering, they are changeable and changing. I only have to wait for myself to settle down from being anxious or questioning and recognize the moments of the day for which to be grateful.
Laura
ps. iloveu
