My dream of my dream house

Just woke up from a nap.  Let's just say it was a huge house, ranch with a screen in porch, living room, dining room, sitting room, family room another family, room a library a few fire places and a huge yard that was fenced in.  There were lots of tall trees with that gorgeous summertime green.  I had George! and Izzi with me.  The yard had quite a few fenced areas in it and a stable.  As a matter of fact my neighbor asked me if I wanted a horse.  When I declined she said it would be put down, and it was easy to take care of a horse.  Okay I said and she left.  

I put the horse in one of my fenced off places and went back into the house.

I was entertaining some of my manager’s children, as a spur of the moment favor.  He has six - I had at least 4 there, maybe more.  They were having fun and entertaining themselves and I asked them if they wanted pb&j sandwiches.  Apparently I am magic in the kitchen because I made one and then they all had one.

As I turned I had a bunch of guests arriving, and me having forgotten that I had invited them.  

After a few hellos I told them I wasn’t ready to entertain properly, so I was ordering pizza.  Which arrived in no time but as the pizza delivery was pulling in, I realized the horse had gotten out of my fenced area and was in the dog park next door (yes my dream, dream house comes with a fenced in yard and a dog park) so I went out to get it.  I was intimidated at first, as it was running around wildly.

I stood in front of it and said whoa, whoa and it settled down and willingly let me lead it back to the fenced area.

As I came inside I saw everyone had tucked into the pizza.  I don’t know who they were nor who paid the bill but I was going to have to find out so I could pay them back, and I had only credit cards, maybe I could find my checkbook?

A dear friend, Michele Burton drove into the drive; she had come by with two people from the Belmont (CA) office and said they hadn’t realized I was ‘open’.  So they came in and I offered them pizza.  I thought I might not have enough plates but then there were plates.  The house was fully furnished.  Right down to the bookshelves.

I ran around and told the kids there was pizza if they wanted it and some of them came, the others were playing, they all were easy, polite and happy kids.

My manager and his wife came by with his other children and I was giving him a tour.  One of the kids said I have to pooh.  I looked up and there was a bathroom I hadn’t seen before, I knew of two, it had been behind a set of curtains.  Well the curtains were pulled back now.

As I walked in I saw that part of the old brick foundation was coming up through the floor and everything was falling apart in there.  The tub was rusted and the floor so soft it dipped when I walked on it.  There was a running leak in the sink.

I thought to myself, how did Sharmini and I miss this…I needed to call her.  As I walked out to one of the sitting rooms with a fireplace - i think there were 3 fireplaces - I saw Michele and her friends there, they were commenting that I needed to fix the leak as it was a hot water leak…the thought floated through my mind about the electric bill and as I turned, I saw the horse getting out into the neighboring dog park again…


Laura

ps. iloveu

A long week...

I knew it would be a long week when on Monday night around 10 pm, I took George! out into the balmy evening for a last pee break of the day.

I ran into another neighbor enjoying the quiet evening with their little dog 'Frodo'.  We talked about the beauty of the evening and I stopped myself short of saying, thank goodness it's Friday!  I took a deep breath and looked around and knew it was going to be a long week.

Up late working or not working but guiltily thinking about the work I need to accomplish - mindlessly hitting the snooze button.  Today it's finally Friday.  One step in front of the other.  Will try to keep my mind on service to others.  That's my mantra when I teeter on the edge of frustration.  What will make this situation, conversation better?

It served me well on Monday when we rolled out a new application to our sales force.  I can't tell you how many people loved it, how many people were confused about it, and the one person who spent 15 minutes telling me she hated it.  Hated the whole thing, couldn't figure it out, couldn't do anything.  I could feel myself withdrawing because she couldn't be specific about what she was trying to do or not do - I had a vision of me being swallowed into a deep hole.

So I asked her what are you trying to do right now, what is most important for you to accomplish right now,  in the back of my mind, how can I be of service.

Eventually she said she'd figure it out, her click paths were right on, she knew how to navigate through the application, she was just venting because change is difficult for some people, her I think more than most.

Whether I was helpful or not - doesn't matter, I was able to keep an even keel in the midst of verbal barrages of words which, when you aren't sucked in emotionally, you realize they don't make much sense.

I have at times, been on the giving side as well.  When your emotions are running so close to the surface it ripples your ability to string words together, unfortunately the point that is most important is lost in the swirl and you are left frustrated because whenever you open your mouth to get the words out, they trip and spill all over your audience...

But today is Friday.  I am close, very close to my me time.  When I can babble incoherently as long as I want and George! and Simba will better there to listen or not listen as they choose.

Simbaloney and the morning time...

I was awoken yesterday morning in the most creative way.

I have a cat.  Simba.  He is a magnificently beautiful cameo cat.  Cameo because his undercoat is completely white and the tips are tan.  He is so lovely and pretty - everyone calls him a her.   I don't see it.  He is the epitome of masculine felinity.   Muscular and thick, square chin, wide brow; he has a solid confident walk.

Simba has always had an uncanny sense of when I need to be up.  He is free fed which means he always has kibble available to him, so he doesn't typically get me up for food.  But I couldn't tell you the number of times he has been on the bed next to my head,  with his large white paws tapping my cheek, tapping my forehead.  And if I don't respond, he is licking my eyelids or my chin.  When he is really desperate, he will let his claws out ever so slightly and pricks my feet.  It doesn't hurt just enough to make me wonder why he is after me.  Then it comes to me. It's 5:55 AM and I have a 6 AM conference call.  Or I need to be at work by 7:30 and he is tap, tap, tapping to get me out and on the road.

Yesterday he changed his tactics.  He was in the other room, zooming around as fast as possible,  jumping on one of his favorite sleeping boxes and sliding it across the floor.  Scaling the cat tree and thump, thump, thumping as he rocks it back and forth on his way up.  Lastly he climbed into a paper bag with tissue paper, hunting his imaginary quarry.

The early sounds were pulling me to the surface, the last one, woke me up with a what is that?  Up to investigate and there was Simbaloney, looking up at me, ready to lead me into the kitchen.

These days preparing his wet food and my coffee making are intertwined.  He waits on his chair as I set up the filter add coffee and water then click on.  I get him a clean dish and scoop in half a can.  Rinse everything off and wait for the coffee to finish.  He takes a couple of bites, checks to make sure I am not headed back to bed and takes off.  Job done...until I am back from walking George!  And he is there on his chair to remind me everyone gets treats whether they walked outside or not.

George! has less patience.  If I don't go to the treat drawer immediately, he will wait looking at me from the the living room, then find a spot to lay down...

Simba on the other hand, has eyes which will track you everywhere.  Like one of those paintings that, no matter where you stand in the room, appear to follow you..  I'm looking at you...I'm still looking at you.  Lady, you'll figure it out eventually, but until then...I'm looking at you...

So I made it to work in time, I was grateful for his assistance.

And if he could write a blog, I imagine it would be My human and my sleeping time...  How she can't help but pet me, much to my chagrin, when I'm in a deep sleep and how every once in awhile she massages my foot and wakes me up...

Wishing you all the best

Laura

ps. iloveu

Starting again...

I am starting again.  Not fresh from the beginning, but somewhere in the messy middle.  I sometimes get frustrated because I feel like I am still where I was 10 years ago.  But I know I am not.  Not really, although my mind goes to the similarities.

I have developed a confidence I didn't have.  I have come to recognize some of my skills and worth.  I fight less and less to be in the right.  Because I realize that karma is.

Here is to starting again...

I imagine I will get further than i did last time.

Laura

ps. iloveu